No Biceps (Small or Large) Allowed
Mrs. Tragos and I are now in the midst of setting up our new life in Turkey. Despite our woefully inadequate beginning Turkish, and the complete newness of our surroundings, we now have most of the accoutrements without which life in 2010 cannot thrive. Like hazelnuts, dates, apricots, and wine.
Most surprises in foreign lands are, in retrospect, supremely banal, they are moments that are unexpected only on account of your bemused inexperience.
But today’s might not fall into that category of the expected unexpected.
This afternoon, Mrs. Tragos and I did what any English/Californian couple does when moving into a new country: we got ourselves a gym membership.
After our salesperson (who got his degree in German literature and is passionate about Goethe and Schiller) went over all the benefits and costs of our membership, he discussed the sartorial rules of the club.
Mind you: before leaving for Ankara, Mrs. Tragos and I—in both England and the US—were subject to many a “non-PC” comment related to burkas and headscarves. We were asked repeatedly what clothing Mrs. Tragos would or would not be allowed to don in Turkish climes.
So—Dear Readers—here is our preliminary report, straight from our local athletic club:
Mrs. Tragos is allowed to wear any gym outfit she should like, even a bikini should she so choose.
Mr. Tragos is allowed to wear any gym outfit he should like, except—except—sleeveless shirts.
Yes, my brow was equally arched on hearing the news. Sleevelessness? Proscribed by religious edict?
No. The reason I am not allowed to wear sleeveless shirts in the gym is that, apparently, men here have lodged complaints about the excessive and therefore humbling size of other men’s biceps. Yes: the gym instituted this rule in order to reduce arm-envy among male exercisers.
I am fine with this rule. I will do as the Romans. I am a man who enjoys his sleeves, who fears them not. I have extremely normal arms, and would have nothing to fear regardless.
But I warn the large-biceped men among you: do not travel to Turkey without sleeves. Your biceps will do you no good in this country.
